


leave your lover

by kathypoison



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Music, M/M, Unrequited Love, well sort of, you can imagine tony with whoever you want
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2019-06-20 16:18:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15538134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kathypoison/pseuds/kathypoison
Summary: Bucky doesn't know how many times he can ask.But he'll keep asking.Because he loves Tony, and they were meant for each other.Too bad Tony's in love with someone else.





	leave your lover

**Author's Note:**

> I was on a Sam Smith binge, and I heard Leave Your Lover (which you should definitely listen to while reading this) and I was hit by a tidal wave of inspiration, so here you go!
> 
> Also, this is unbetad, so all mistakes are my own, and I'm sure there's a few.
> 
> Enjoy!

The night was a quiet one. Early January, and the weather outside was still bitter, and cold. The last small bits of cheer from the new year were starting to die out. There were no leaves on the trees, and the small amount of snow that had fallen earlier that day had already melted, and there was no evidence of it ever having been there.

Inside the messy apartment, the windows were unable to keep out the winter chill. Bodies shivered every so often, yet their coats and jumpers hadn't moved from their place on the floor.

The night was a quiet one.

Until.

"You should leave him."

Bucky heard Tony sigh, quiet and sad; felt the rise and fall of the older man's chest beneath his arms. He was lying on the couch in his small, shitty apartment, and Tony was lounging between his legs, back pressed to the soldier's chest, and Bucky's arms around him. There was a movie playing on the TV, but neither of them were paying it any attention, and had muted it from the moment it started playing.

There was silence between them, it floated around the flat, looming over their heads. Tony didn't know what to say. Bucky had said it too much already.

"Leave him for me," he said again, resting his chin atop Tony's head, and breathing in his smell. "Just... pack your things, leave everything, what's stopping you?"

"You know what's stopping me," Tony finally said, looking up at the soldier. "I love him, I can't just... go. It's not that simple." Tony closed his eyes, taking a deep, shaky breath. "Can we drop this, please?"

And within five minutes, Tony had stammered out an excuse, and left the apartment.

Bucky had felt his heart crack.

-

It was Clint's birthday, and there was a small party at the Avengers Tower. Nothing too big, the team and their friends. Clint's family, Thor's friends, some drinks, music playing softly in the background as they all laughed and chatted.

Bucky hadn't been back to the tower since Tony rejected him the first time, over six months ago. Now, he and Steve were the only ones that came to visit him in his shitty apartment.

So, of course, he had to endure the talking, and the questions about where he'd been and what he'd been doing.

And he wanted to say that he was okay, and that he'd been doing everything, but he seemed to have lost the ability to lie like he used to. So, he'd just turn the question around to whoever was asking, and when he could finally slip away unnoticed, he did.

He found a quiet corner, and a bottle of whiskey, knowing that the alcohol would have no effect on him, but he longed for the burn. He downed the whole thing in under ten minutes, and he thought he'd felt a tingling sensation in his fingers, but maybe he was just wishing too hard.

No one noticed him for the rest of the night.

Not even Steve.

It was long past midnight when everyone retired to their rooms, and floors, and Bucky was left to escort himself out.

He was almost out the door, just reaching for the handle, when he was stopped by Tony's voice calling after him.

"Where'd you sneak off to?" He asked, leaning against the wall, about thirty feet away from him. His t-shirt was thin, and Bucky could see the glow of the arc reactor underneath the material. It was the second most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

The first being the man who created it.

"Nowhere," he answered, bowing his head. It hurt to look at him for too long. Like looking at the sun. "See you later, Tony."

"James."

Again, Bucky stopped. His name had been spoken so softly it made his chest hurt.

"Stay here tonight," Tony said, almost pleading, as he shuffled forward towards taller man, "please."

"Why?" Bucky frowned.

"Because it's raining, you goon, and you don't drive," Tony smiled, and motion for Bucky to follow him. "You can sleep in your old room, I didn't change anything, just made sure it was kept clean."

Bucky's old room was underneath Tony's.

"Am I going to have to listen to you two fucking? 'Cause I think I'd rather freeze to death," Bucky grunted, and watched Tony's face fall. Bucky's heart broke a little more; he hated seeing Tony sad.

"Bucky..."

"Leave him," Bucky begged, halting, and catching Tony's hand to make him do the same. "Just leave him." Tony looked ready to cry, and he laced his fingers with Bucky's, taking deep breaths as he stepped closer.

"Bucky, _I can't_ ," Tony whispered helplessly. His bottom lip was quivering ever so slightly. "I _love him_."

"But I could love you, I _do_ love you, _more,_ why can't you see that?" his voice shook. There was silence. Always silence with them. And tears. Big, fat tears spilled from Tony's eyes, yet, he didn't look away from the soldier.

The genius said nothing else, just kissed Bucky on the cheek, and wished him a goodnight before leaving, practically running for the elevator.

Bucky didn't sleep at all that night.

-

The Avengers were still wary of him, it was painfully obvious. Bruce never came within twenty foot of him, Thor and Clint had never said a word to him, Natasha avoided him at all costs, claiming that he was just a reminder of a past that she wanted to forget, Wanda said he scared her, and Vision may as well have been Wanda's puppy, following wherever she went. Rhodey didn't trust him, neither did Strange, and Peter wasn't around that much. The only ones that didn't act like he had the plague were Tony and Steve.

So, when most of the Avengers saw him sitting at the table nursing a coffee the morning after the party, they all elected to sit on the couches in the common area, yet Bucky _knew_ that they sat around that table _every_ morning.

It wasn't until Steve came in, and sat next to Bucky, that the others came over, one by one, to join them. Bruce and Natasha didn't, but Bucky didn't care.

Half an hour later, Tony stumbled into the kitchen, grumbled out a "good morning", poured himself a coffee, and then left. Bucky knew Tony wasn't a morning person, and so did the rest of the team, so it wasn't unusual for everyone to pretty much ignore him after he'd just woken up. Bucky never minded, though. He thought Tony was adorable when he was tired.

It was quiet for a few moments after Tony left.

Then...

"I proposed to Tony last night."

Bucky's entire body froze at the words. He could feel his stomach turning over, and liquid rose in his throat. The – luckily empty – coffee cup shattered in his hand, slicing into his flesh. The whole table was staring at him, their faces contorted in shock.

He left the room without another word.

He wanted nothing more than to go back to his apartment and lock himself away from the world. He would miss the wedding, and he didn't care if Tony begged him to go, there was no way he was going to sit through torture for a whole day.

He'd had his fair share of torture, thank you very much.

With every muscle in his body telling him to run and never look back, he summoned up all the emotional will he had left, and made his was down to the lab.

Friday was the one to greet him.

"Boss has said he's not to be disturbed unless it's an emergency, but I can see that you're in need of medical attention, Mr. Barnes."

Bucky frowned, and then remembered the cut on his palm. Oh.

He cracked something close to a smile. "Thanks, Miss Friday."

The doors opened with a hiss.

"It better be good!" Bucky heard Tony call from underneath one of his cars.

"Um, I need... help," he mumbled, and he watched Tony go still for a second, before he rolled himself out, and lifted his goggles up.

"Hi," he said.

"Hi," Bucky replied, holding up his hand to show off the deep, red gash.

Tony pulled a sympathetic face, and winced. "What the hell did you do, Snowflake?" He asked, pushing himself back onto his feet.

"Uh, I broke one of your mugs," he admitted, "Sorry."

"I'm a billionaire, James, one mug isn't going to break the bank." Tony pulled two chairs up to his work station. "Come here, let me look at you." He patted the seat gently.

Bucky obeyed, and went to sit down in front of the older man, holding out his hand as he did. In any other case, if it was anyone else, Bruce would be the one handling this. But, seeing as it had taken Bucky approximately five months to be able to let Tony anywhere near his arm, they thought it best to just let either Tony or Steve deal with anything that he needed.

Also, Bruce hated him, so there was that too.

The two sat in silence – always silence – as Tony cleaned the wound and bandaged his hand carefully, with practised ease.

"You're getting married," Bucky finally choked out, having to practically force the words out. Tony slowed his movements, but didn't stop. "Were you going to tell me?"

"Is this why you murdered my mug?" Tony asked, not taking his eyes off the bandage he was fixing around Bucky's hand. The soldier frowned.

"Tony..."

Tony cut him off, and Bucky thought he saw him smirk. "I don't know who told you that I was getting married, because they're clearly misinformed, do you see a ring on my finger?" Bucky looked down at his left hand and, sure enough, there was no golden band there, nor had there ever been.

"But, he said he--"

"He proposed, yes," Tony interrupted again. "I said no."

Those words took Bucky a few moments to process.

_I said no._

_I said no._

_I said no._

"Y-you said... _no?"_ He stammered, forcing down the hope that was clawing its way up his throat.

"Yeah," Tony confirmed.

"Why?" Bucky asked, voice wavering.

"I... told him that I was in love with someone else."

Bucky had to force back tears. "You did?"

"Yes, James, I did," Tony said, and, being finally done with the bandage, looked up at the former assassin. "I told him that I was in love with someone else, and that although I love him, I..." He swallowed, tears forming in his eyes, "I love _you_ more."

Bucky stared at Tony. Like he hadn’t fully comprehended what the genius had said.

"Uh, James?" Tony asked, shuffling in his seat, wiping the tears from his cheeks. "I know this is a lot to take in, but can you give me something here, I'm getting a little worried over h--"

Anything else Tony had to say was cut off by Bucky crashing his lips to Tony's. The kiss was everything Bucky had ever wanted. It was Tony, and love, and passion, and want, and Bucky's heart soared. He knew he was crying, but neither of them cared. Tony had Bucky's face cupped in his hands, and Bucky was clinging to the older man like his life depended on it.

They kissed for so long, the tears on Bucky's face dried, but they had to break apart, because Tony wasn't a supersoldier, and had to breathe.

"I left him," Tony whispered breathlessly, "for you."

This time, their silence didn't bother Bucky in the least. They touched their foreheads together, and nothing else in the world existed.


End file.
